Tag Archives: humor

Jaanlewa Jaanu- VI

31 Jul

With actually no topic in mind, I start with my favorite topic, the Jaanlewa Jaanu. This one is the most appreciated and the most read post series on this blog.

So, this time the jaanu is in a mall with the guy to shop for a bag (that’s what she is looking for). Let’s see how it turns out!

Boy: Baby… we have been roaming for the last 35 minutes and we have not entered even a single bag shop.

Girl: I know… I was thinking to get these foot wears… aren’t they pretty?” She asked without looking at him.

Boy: “If you like them, they are definitely good. ” He said with a smiling face. (I know cheap line).

The girl bought that footwear. The boy was quite sure that now she would enter the bag showroom, but to his despair, there were Biba and UCB in the way to Caprese. So, the girl enetred Biba. (You see… absolutely not her fault, she is a girl, so she will shop, the person with her is a boy so he will pay).

Girl: Look… how pretty this dress is. You think I should try this?

And before the boy could exercise his right to speech and expression, the salesperson came and spilled “Oh sure… Ma’am the fresh summer collection is here. You will absolutely fall for the new designs. Let me help you.”

The boy now knew that his lady love is gone with the salesman. He knew that he would not see her for almost two hours now. He knew that she would be trying every new dress that she could grab on and ask for the salesperson’s advice rather than his. And knowing all this he was happy.

As he turned his mobile data, to check out the world happenings on watsapp and other social networks, his phone pinged. One after the other messages were coming from his love, showing him dresses that she had selected. He zoomed the dresses to see if the price tag was visible. But the girl seemed to be a clever photographer. He was thinking of calling his boss and applying for a loan as it seemed that whole of his salary would be spent in the next some hours or so.

There was a time when he eagerly used to wait for Sundays and now is the time, when he has to meet his girlfriend on Sunday and sometimes has to lie that he is working on Sundays too.

He was deep engrossed in his thoughts while at the same time looking at his Facebook wall aimlessly. He was just going to comment on his best friend’s vacation photo when his phone rang. He looked at his watch. It was 7 p.m. One hour had gone by. “Good time passes fast.” He thought. He picked up the call.

“Where are you?” A commanded voice asked him.

“In Biba only… you were trying the clothes na… so I just…”

“Come fast to the cash counter.” She said and put off the phone immediately.

He started walking with heavy feet and came close to the counter. He saw two more men like him who very having the same expressions of despair on their faces which were being completely ignored by their girls.

He pulled out his wallet and gave his Maestro  Card. The girl came out happy and the boy came out with a little less balance in his bank account.  Money can’t but love, but it can surely make lover, a beggar.

“So… now?” He asked.

“Now… we will eat something and go to home.”

“But… your bag? No need now?”

“How can there be no need… I just changed  my mind at not buying them now. I am too tired now.

(I wish she changes her mind and does not replace it with anything.) He thought.

After that, they went for the dinner in the Mall’s Food Court and heeded home afterwards. After the shopping, the girl was exhausted and the boy was extorted. 😛

funny-picture-when-women-go-shopping

 

The Last Of It

11 Nov

The Last Minor

HI… A very very good evening!! I know I have been very lazy on blog nowadays, I know you are expecting the next chapter of The Link very badly and I know that you miss the sarcastic jokes even more… yeah yeah… I know all of that. But what you don’t know is that it’s the last year of my college. That in next year by this time of the year, I would have become a law graduate, I would have taken a step further in becoming a writer and I might have taken up a job (anything but law :P) . So, now you know… And so.. from today I am starting a new series which would be called “The Last Of It”, featuring the last day of the college, the last project, the last exam, the last conversation with a teacher and many other things. The series starts today as today was my last minor exam.

Let me explain the scheme of examinations in my college in a nutshell. Every subject is evaluated out of 100 marks. An exam of 10 marks is taken every month, 5 marks are in the hands of teacher and we need to give a big semester exam for 75 marks at the end of the session. These 10 marker exams are mid- term, which are generally called ‘minors’. So, I gave my last minor. Last minor of the law course. Although I have a whole semester running from January to May too, but in the last semester we only have to intern for six months at some legal firm or the like.

So, today, the feeling that it’s the last minor exam was … na… not there :P. The exam was at 3. I met my friend at Rajiv Chowk to go to Dwarka.

She: What are the topics that are coming?

Me: Don’t really remember… but I have the book… once we reach college… we will ask someone. Waise bhi… how does it matter… it’s the last minor.”

And then since neither of us knew the syllabus, we talked about ridiculous things for an hour till we reached our college.

We reached there at 11 and the exam was at 3. So, we had ample time. A friend who stays in the hostel came to the place where we were sitting. She enlightened us about the syllabus. The syllabus was very easy, we had read it previously. So, we didn’t felt like reading it. So, after that, we talked endlessly about future plans, wedding plans, honeymoon destinations, someone even suggested me the names of my future kids, and so on and so forth. Well… it was 12:30, that we realised that it’s out last minor and we should crack it well. So, we took a break from our talks, brought out our lunch boxes and did the most important thing for which we come to college. We savored on two lunches, two coffees (I don’t drink coffee) and one samosa.

It was 1 when we finished the lunch and again it was time for some bakar. The topic shifted from here to there… flowing from professional life to personal lives and how each of us would be after 5 years. I know that is pure girls talk, a talk which every girl says “we don’t do” 😛 and that’s the fun that it is done by everybody… sometimes (many a times) by the boys too.

Anyway… It was 2 when we started studying with the note that “it’s the last exam, we should perform the ritual of studying”.

We went to the examination hall at 2:50 and settled down at our places. The invigilator came at 2:56 and distributed the sheets. I asked the person sitting behind me, “What’s the date today?” He answered “How does it matter, its the last minor”. But then he told me.

The exam was pretty easy ( Yes! my family follows this so… ) Yes the exam was awesome and more awesome was the feeling that the last minor was over.

We came outside the exam hall. One of the classmates asked me “How was the exam? And i responded “How does it matter? It was the last minor”. She gave me a weird look. Coming out of the college I felt like fleeing the subject notes in the air above  the playground. But then the thought stuck… the 75 mark exam is yet to be given. So, I postponed the plans for next month.

So, this was all about the last minor. Many such stories coming down the lane as the last of the law college happens gradually. Till then, Bye!!

Oh, not till then, because you never know… “The Link” is not over yet… right?? 🙂 Have a good day 🙂

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Jaanlewa Jaanu- V

21 Oct

So, Diwali is here. The festival of lights, festival of prayers, festival of holidays and above all the festival to shop. Shop endlessly, non- sensibly, extravagantly and if you are in a relationship (and a girl), shopping without spending even a penny of your own.

Now, its been quite sometime when we met the Jaanlewa Jaanu. And it is a fact that I might forget her but there are some characters and  families that occasionally come to meet me.

So, this time I spotted her at the market. Two days before the festival. Ultimate rush in the streets, shops and even the pavements were crowded with people loaded with ten bags in each hand on an average. People were shopping as if the market is going down and it will not see the light of the next day.

So, I was talking about our girl. She was shopping with a boy standing beside her, holding almost 7-8 bags in both his hands and without giving a damn to that fact, concentrating on the girl’s voice who was asking.

“What do you think would look better. Green or pink?” She asked holding the two identical shirts with different colours.

“Madam… we have almost all the colours for this shirt…” and he took out a pile from one side  and showcased different colours of that shirt and made a pile of those shirts on the other side. The girl very patiently held all the shirts and asked the boy about each and every shirt.

“How would this look on me?”

“Jaan everything looks fine on you… take any..”

“Just fine? And what do you mean by any?”

“I… i mean… you just increase the value of everything that gets attached to you… like me..” he said smiling while trying to control the situation.

“Oh… well… how is this grey one?” She said while looking intensely at the shirt.

“Umm.. ya it’s fantastic.”

“No… i have 3 shirts of this colour.” She took the black one.

“And how would this be?”

“I guess.. ya… it’s.. you would look amazing… and you should take it as you don’t have this colour.”

As soon as he finished the last line, he found the girl looking or rather gazing at him as if he had committed some crime.

“How could you forget? You gifted me a black colour shirt on our ‘The day we first talked anniversay’ I still remember that on the first hand you had forgotten the very important day itself and now you don’t remember what you gifted me for make up for that forgetfulness. I think you just don’t find me that important to be remembered.”

“Aah… that anniversary…” He said in nostalgia.

“Huh… I am the only one to remember everything… ‘the day we met anniversary’, the day we first talked anniversary’, the day you took me out for a walk anniversary’ and i am damn sure that you don’t remember the ‘ the day my sandal broke and you got it mended anniversary’.”

“There is that date too?” He thought.  But to avoid further embarrassment in front of the shopkeeper and other people around he said:

“Well i suggested black… because I think you look too good in black.”

“Huh… why are you always so concerned about me being looking good? What if tomorrow i don’t look good? Why is it all about my body to you?”

“My girl… its not… but you only asked ‘how would this look on me’… So… I was just suggesting…”

“Okay… well do you have any other designs in the shirt? She asked while discarding all the effort of the shopkeeper to please this girl. But he had to do his job. So he untied a pile of clothes and showcased her the so- called ‘New Arrival’.

“Hmm… well… i am just saying… but i am holding these 7 bags for the last 15 minutes… can you choose a bit fast? The boy asked in a perplexed tone.

“Why? You are tired already?  I have not even started the shopping yet.. I have to get decorations, sweets and some cosmetics and most importantly a present for…”

“For me?” The boy interrupted in excitement.

“No… for the house maid…” She said while looking at another purple colour shirt.

“Ya.. she is important.” The boy thought.

But with this last scene… I could not resist my laughter. The boy turned towards me but the girl was so lost in the shirt. The boy gave me a ‘jaisi bhi hai, jo bhi hai… meri jaanu hai ye’ look… in simple words… gave my an angry birds look.

imagesI, who had entered the shop just to get this instance to narrate to you, had gone alone for shopping and bought things that i really didn’t needed. (Yes!I don’t need a jaanu to take me to shopping, but i will consider someone to carry the bags :P)

So, this is all for this time… Happy Diwali to everybody. Have a safe and prosperous year ahead and never ever miss any episode of your HSI blogger’s series :p

The ‘Dumb’ Phone

5 Oct

In this new era of smartphones, its quite disheartening to see people going dumb. No… seriously… in earlier days.. we used to remember so many phone numbers, our retaining power was good. And now we don’t remember our own phone numbers. We can reach the world with internet connection, but without that, the phone seems to be the most useless possession. Okay… I am not in the mood of furnishing gyaan to you… but would just like to share as to how the actually smart people think of these so- called ‘smartphones’.

The post is about my mother’s first ever phone. Moto E! We paid a rupee more for the phone when it was delivered through Flipkart. The price to be paid was Rs. 6999, but we had the bad luck of not having the change and the other party never has the change. Now, that you know the name of the phone… browse about it yourself… this is not a tech- based site to provide you the info of this phone.

The story starts with the receiving of the phone. My mom was quite excited as well as nervous on the issue of handling it. Within one hour, we downloaded watsapp, Facebook, two or three games and some other apps. Our work was done. An hour later, a ping appeared on the phone. It was one Watsapp message.

“Oh… how to open it?” My mom asked.

“Put your thumb on the top of the screen and pull it down.”

She tried… she would not just rest the thumb there … just touch it and leave.

“You have to keep the thumb there for a second.” I explained.

I though that it is touch screen.”

“Yeah it is…”

“Ok…” she said in a disappointed tone, and ended the struggle of opening the message.

“Oh… it’s your aunt… this is an image of ‘Good Morning’… Good morning? Why would she do that?”

“She just… greeted you… you should send back a message.” I suggested.

“Why?? We don’t greet each other… We never have… what’s the use of starting such a practice now?” She asked in a confused tone.

“Ask her…” I answered in an irritated tone.

“Ok… how to call?”

“Don’t call her… use the same thing… message her on WatsApp.”

“How?” She asked again.

“Put your thumb here…” I indicated at the reply box.

“Now see that you have the letters to type… touch the letter that you want to type.”

She tries and wrote ‘HOW ARE YOU?’ in almost 5 minutes.

“Now how to send it?” She enquired.

“Like a very patient teacher, I told, ” Just tap on the arrow that you see in the right.”

And as an obedient learner, she did as instructed.

“Now?”

Seemed like ‘Now’ and ‘How’ were the words of that day.

“”It’s sent…”

“Sent? So fast?? Must be costly?”

“It’s almost free.. mom..”

“Nothing is for free… tell me how much balance is left in the phone?”

“Mom… see… we have wi- fi connection… so it’s all through net… and we have unlimited net pack… so even if you message the whole day… it will cost you not a single penny.”

“Oh… if that be the case.. I can also send a ‘Good Morning’ but I don’t have such beautiful images in my phone like your aunt sent.”

“We can download them.” I suggested.

“Huh… this phone has nothing… now we download them… and they would instantly charge money.”

“No mom… that also we will do through net.”

“Everything in this phone is through net?”

“Ya kind of… oh… you can call… but that is without net… as in like any other phone…”

“Such a dumb phone..!!” She exclaimed.

“Why?” I asked in surprise.

“It is nothing without internet. I mean N1100 is better than this… at least it’s body can be used effectively to kill a roadside romeo… and it has less features… but at least independent…”

I smiled and went into the kitchen as my mom had started browsing the internet and I had no patience left to take another class on that ‘dumb phone’. But… I guess there would be more posts on the issue as there are many things which my mother has to learn from the phone and you have to learn from my mother. 😛 🙂

 

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In Conversation with Indrajeet

3 Oct

So… your favorite blog is back… for those who missed me… well get some work people and those who didn’t… never mind… i didn’t missed you too… 😛

You would ask… where was I? Well… there was some problem with my WordPress site. It rejected to open… until yesterday and when it opened…  notifications hanging on the left side of the screen brought nostalgia. Well… talking about today’s topic… its Dusshehra… as many of you would know.  And if you remember the last year’s Dusshehra… I had met Ravana. So, how could the stars spare me this time. But, this time.. it was Meghnada. Meghanda… this name, he got because of his vocal qualities. It is said that his voice was as powerful as the thundering of clouds. He is also known as Indrajeet, as he had won Indra, the king of all deities.

So, this time I was roaming in the park near my home, when I meet this person in broken hawaii chappals, an old jeans and patched t- shirt. He called me and asked if I had some water.

I went to him with water in one hand and a ready fist to break his nose if he tries to do anything wrong in the other. He was breathing heavily, and grabbed the water bottle from my hand. He was looking quite feeble and it was evident from his face that he had not eaten anything for days. As a responsible citizen, I brought out the pepper spray from my bag, and went a bit closer to him and asked

“Are you okay?”

Hearing this, he looked at me with surprise as if he didn’t knew I was there. He was continuously staring at me and then looked at the bottle that I had given him.

“You can see me?” He asked in amazement.

With this question, there was no doubt left that the man was insane, and I should leave. As I hurriedly turned back, he asked again.

“Can you really see me?”

This time his voice was stronger and it felt like a cloud has burst somewhere.

I was totally horrified, but kept a clam face and said, “Yes… I can see you, that is why I could give you that water bottle.”

“Do you know who am I?”

My mind crossed all the limits of what this man thinks he is. What  will he tell me… maybe he would say that he is Barack Obama or Bill Gates or maybe the creepy “tumahra aashiq”. But I held my mind firmly and asked… “No, I don’t know..”

“Even with this voice… oh… maybe I have lost it… Well I am Meghnad.. nice to meet you…” He extended his hand towards me for a hand shake.

Now after hearing that, the questions were turned, Am I insane? Why do I encounter this family every Dusshehra?

“Oh… hi… nice to meet you…” I replied.

“You are not surprised? I mean meeting the Satyuga devil must be unheard of..”

“No.. not for me… actually I had met your father last year. So, I can totally understand that this is happening.”

“Oh… so you are that little girl… ya dad was telling he met a fool those days.”

“Yeah.. thanks for bringing that up… what are you doing here… and in these clothes?”

“Yeah.. dad told me that Delhites can rob you… so you better be cautious… so I came prepared… now tell me would anyone rob me?”

“No… I guess no… but then why were you… like… dying for water?”

“Oh… I just ate an apple… it is so adulterated… almost killed me… how do you people survive?”

“Ok… you don’t need to care about the world… what are you doing here?”

“Oh… my father told that you make excellent effigies of dad, Khumbhakaran uncle and me.. so just strolled down from hell to enjoy the show.”

“Do you know that while we burn you down, we imagine  that you are actually dying.”

“Ya… I know and I am here to witness the fake content on your faces.” He smiled.

As i turned back to head towards my home, he questioned

“Why do you think those petty men of woods you all worship able to kill the most powerful threesome in the world.?”

“Maybe because they were justified. Their lady was in your wrongful confinement… they repeatedly asked you to return her, but you denied… they didn’t kill you… that lady’s will killed you.”

“Do you know that I was murdered when I was in meditation. I was doing a yagya when they came stealthily in the cave and killed me… how would you justify that? Killing an unarmed person?”

“I think it’s totally justified. And the moral of your story is that if you call Gods with a wrong intention, they will come and treat you right.”

“But I was the most powerful… I defeated Indra… defeated that Laxmana twice and even Rama once… but they killed me with wrong means… nothing can justify their wrong means.”

“You cannot complain… even you and your brother had used wrong tactics.”

“But if they do the same wrong, then how are they different from us?”

“They are different because they didn’t defeated you to prove or show the world that you are weak… they fought for a cause… and there is no further justification for whatever they did.”

“I guess you are no longer a fool that my father met.” He said in despair.

“But I like one thing about you…” I said.

“What?” He asked excitedly.

“That you won over Indra… I mean that’s a big achievement.”

“Oh… that was a cake piece for me…”

“Sigh…” I looked at my watch. It was almost 7.

“Oh… it’s time.” I told him.

“What are we waiting for then? Let’s go and enjoy the show… after all that 5 minute affair is all what Dusshehra is about.. isn’t it?”

He said these words very casually, and walked with me to the open ground where announcement of a corrupt politician to come forward and shoot the burning arrow towards Meghnad was being made.

 

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Cooking… An Art More Complex Than The Rocket Science

5 Jul

The following post is written for the ‘My Beautiful Food’ contest held by IndiBlogger and sponsored by http://www.myborosil.com/

 

“So… you don’t know how to cook.”

“I…I…do… and what do you mean by that?? You just ate daal, spinach and rotis.”

“That was daal? I thought it was some kind of salted water, where was the daal? And the spinach… whatever, but you don’t know how to cook… admit it.”

“Okay… I will admit that I am a bad cook… but… I cooked.”

“Smriti… there is good food, there is bad food and there is something that the maker calls the food and the eater trashes away. What you presented falls in the third category. Plus what do you mean by ‘I cooked’… you have to cook.. that’s something you are obliged to do.”

“Well… I tried…”

“You tried… because you don’t know how to cook… right?”

“Your purpose of marrying me was to judge my culinary skills?”

“No… but it’s time that you start learning this skill… seriously…”

Aamil left the dining table to get ready for the office. He was recently being married to Smriti. Smriti works as a secretary in a private firm. Her husband, Aamil, works in a government agency falling into the officer grade pay.

After he left, Smriti was thinking about the dinner’s menu. There were many vegetables in the refrigerator, almost every type of pulse in the storeroom, but the basic problem was that she didn’t knew how to put these things to the best use. She searched on youtube for easy recipes and listed out two which seemed quite easy.

For the main dinner she picked out the recipe of jeera rice and kadhai paneer and for snacks she thought of dhokla.

She used the Mixing Bowl from her collection of myborosil.com to mix the ingredients of the batter of dhokla that included gram flour, salt, curd and baking soda. She mixed it well, transferred it in Rectangular Dish and placed it in the microwave and left the rest of the cooking to be done by the machine.

Then she turned towards the jeera rice which was simple as there were not much ingredients involved and the steps were also very less. But the main battle was to be fought with kadhai paneer.

She pieced the paneer, prepared the gravy and followed the recipe very religiously. The colour of the gravy was royal and the fragrance of fresh spices was talking a lot about the future of the dish.

As soon as she had prepared the three dishes, the bell rung.

She opened the door with a smiling face. Aamil was quite surprised at the mysterious smile of his wife, but was too tired to ask her the reason. She went into the kitchen and brought the dhokla that she had prepared and two cups of tea. Aamil was surprised to see the dhokla.

“Where did this came from?” He asked.

“From your own house.”

“Ohkay… it looks good… is it really good or its because of the Rectangular Dish in which it is placed.”

“You decide.” She said with a confidence.

He took out a piece of it and without using the plate, put it inside his mouth. For once his eyes glistened and his mouth said, “Wonderful… its hard to believe that you have made it.”

“Believe it, because I have put in a lot of effort…”

Aamil realised that he had been too hard on his wife that morning and maybe this was her wife’s way of responding.

“I am very sorry for today morning, I never knew you would take that so seriously but I am glad that you did… but that obviously doesn’t  justify my rude words, so I am sorry.”

“Its okay… I am glad that you realised your fault… and don’t tell me that you are sorry… because…”

“Because..? He said munching the other piece.

“Because I did something for which I should be sorry and so both the sorrys  cancel out each other.” She said in a perplexed tone.

“What have you done?”

“I was preparing jeera rice and kadhai paneer for you…and..”

“Wow… that is so thoughtful and trust me I just can’t wait to taste them.”

“Well.. you would have to wait…”

“Ya… I know… till 8:30… that is our dinner time… I know…” He said.

“Yes… yes… till 8:30 of some other day.”

“But you just said…”

“The rice burnt and  for the kadhai paneer…

“The kadhai paneer?”

“It too burnt…”

“Ouch… wow… well how?” He asked in confusion.

“Actually…  the rice in the cooker were boiling and the gravy in the kadhai was taking some time to cook and the recipe said that it would take almost 10 minutes for the gravy to be ready… so…”

“Smriti… go on… so?”

“So… I called my mother and…”

“And you need not explain more… you called your mother and that explains a lot… you forgot to check on the two things while discussing about stupid household talks… didn’t you?”

“She was telling me about her early days with cooking… the topic stretched.”

“Smriti… you were talking to your mother, even when you ask her about her well- being she stretches it to almost 10 minutes.”

Smriti stood there, with her eyes stuck on the floor.

“Where are the two things?”

“In the kitchen.”

Aamil went into the kitchen and had a look.

“It seems you really tried… sincerely tried.”

“I did.”

“Then I will not let my wife’s effort go into drain… I will eat this… howsover bad it might taste.”

“Aalim… I tasted it… one suggestion… I know you love me… but if you eat this… i fear that love is definitely getting down the drain… so please let’s order pizza.”

“Thank you… I was just trying to sound concerned… this…”

“This..?”

“Well.. this is like…. who cares… the dhokla was awesome…” He tried to divert from the main course and cuddled with his wife to divert himself from the fact that how bad a cook his wife was.

 

Second Saturday!!

10 May

Hi… fellas… So… this happened… every word that follows actually happened… (not today although)… tragic for me… par aap maze lo…

So, on a fateful Thursday I planned to visit court. I asked one of my friends from law school to accompany me (timepass) and she agreed. We decided to go to Tees Hazari Court. I was very excited, as in Tees Hazari, many matrimonial (masala) cases come up for hearing. The court opens at 10 a.m., and we decided to meet at the court at ten only. The dedication, the excitement and the expectations ( of getting to hear gossip cases) was high.

On Saturday, I woke up at 8, got ready by 9 and boarded the Metro to Tees Hazari at almost 9:15. By 9:55, I reached the desired Metro Station. I called up my friend to know her whereabouts. She told that she would reach in a minute or so. After she came, we went outside the station and suddenly something stuck her… “Aaj to second Saturday hai…” the thing didn’t stuck me or maybe it had, but the disbelief caused me to ask

“So…?”

“Dude… its second Saturday… courts are closed…”

“Why?”

“Because its second Saturday..”

“Why?”

“See… this all started when man started designating a particular day… they settled for seven days in a week and then…”

“Ohkay… got it… I got it that we came to the court to hear the proceedings and it’s closed… what the f…”

I became quite angry, and then sad, and then kind of depressed and then I suddenly laughed.

I laughed for almost 320 seconds. My friend knew about my “once started, never ending” way of laughter. I was laughing really hard standing on the pavement outside the court and my friend was standing beside me, giving a look to the world that said, “Dude… I am waiting for the bus… I don’t know her”.

After I stopped or rather the passerby’s look forced me to. I asked,

“So.. what do we do??”

“March home..”

“I am not in a mood to go home. I had announced so proudly about today’s plans and when they would come to know that this happened, they all would first burst out into laughter and would always bring that up in front of everybody.

“So… what should we do? Oh.. there is a cool mall in NSP… why don’t we go there..” She suggested.

“Have you been there earlier?” I asked.

“Na.. but one of my friends has… ans she said that’s really good.”

I had no other options. And as they say, beggars cannot be choosers. So, we boarded the Metro and reached NSP in some other 30 minutes. We de-boarded, and went to a mall which was seeming to be nearest the Metro Station.

“Are you sure this is it??

“Ya… I can’t see any other mall here…”

“Okay…”. We reached there. At the entrance, the guard told us that the mall shall open at 11 a.m.. We had reached at 10:30..

So, we waited outside the mall for half- an- hour. We talked about boyfriends(of others), girlfriends (obviously of others), parents (of our own) and at a point about someone who has nothing to do with our lives.

Well… after half- an- hour of tanning, we went inside to find out that only three  floors of that ‘building’ were tagged as mall. The other almost nine floors were offices. And in those three floors, there was no food court. Ya… I mean what’s a mall without food court?? But I guess for these situations someone has said “You never know…”

I gave my friend a “cool mall? Huh??” look.

She was already remembering her friend and I was complementing her friend’s relatives my own way.

We came out after 10 minutes that we had entered. Now, we realised that the world is not accepting us. The spiritual gyan crossed the mind that the world is shunning out its doors for us. And then the second thought, ‘what the fuck’. We went to the Metro Station again. There was a so- called ‘SALE’ of foot-wears. And if you are a girl, you know what SALE means and if you are a boy, you are the unfortunate one, not to understand it’s value and if you are a boy who has a girlfriend, then I do pity you. Well… coming to my own story, we entered the shop. The foot-wears we liked were not on sale and those which were on sale were just too good to be purchased at that price. We wasted another twenty minutes of our aimless lives and then boarded metro to our respective homes.

You will say, why I shared this on the blog. Well, are you upto reasoning? Please get out..!!images

 

Facts You Can Laugh Upon…

4 May
So… it’s the first Sunday of May, 2014… World Laughter Day… and this brought a smile on your face.. right??
Now, I am not just letting you go with a shiny smile up there, just sit back and enjoy the useless humour for which you come around on this blog.
Presenting some interestingly humorous facts about men and women… I hope you find then funny (and even if you don’t… what are the odds… Laugh Out Loud… Its World Laughter Day 😛 )

Facts About Women:
• A woman after visiting her girlfriend for weeks can return home, call the same friend and talk for three hours (yes… it happens… plus… when somebody would ask “What were you talking about” The girl would be like.. “Nothing.. just random things”)

• Women going out with girlfriends order for a large pizza, coke, garlic bread(anything left??) as opposed to the act they put up that they eat too little, when men are around.

• When a woman answers, “I’m fine, ” either she is not fine or she is not gonna be fine in a few seconds.

• Women love to talk and talk, and then talk some more and then talk about what the other person listened to, and if you are not ready for that after- talks round of questions… you are either dead or… ya you are mostly dead. women

• Women love a bargain, even if they don’t need the item. So, if they see a purse that is almost exactly like one they already have, but it has been marked down 75%, they are going to most likely buy it because women think they saved money on it!!

• Women know more than they lead on. They don’t want to show up by knowing more about politics than you do, so they “play dumb”, just to give you the satisfaction when women are really thinking about how dumb men really are on the subject!!

• Women are extremely extrovert but they would hide things that are concerned with their age, weight, feelings, and qualities.

• Women are bad at keeping secrets, and on top of that, they will not consider it untrustworthy when they only tell two or three people about it. P.S. : they are bad at hiding others’ secrets, not their owns’

• Women tend to ask questions that cannot be objectively answered or cannot be answered at all, and if you do answer they won’t agree, they will have their own logic and after an hour or so, they will say, “You know we wasted our time, the question was just not worth it” and the interesting part, if you are a male you will feel guilty.

• Women check out their reflections on any shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, store windows, and even their own shadows, but their favorite? Car’s rear view mirror, especially if it’s not their car.

• A handbag is an essential accessory for a woman and if she doesn’t carry it, she feels extremely awkward. One more thing, most of the girl keep their cell phone in their hands, all the time, even if they have pockets in the trouser.

• Women like looking at men, just as much as men like looking at women. They just know how to hide it better!

• Women have a hard time admitting when they are wrong. This means that a woman hardly ever apologizes and thinks that it’s a man’s duty to apologize.

• A woman speaks about 7,000 words a day; a man speaks about 2,000.

Facts about Men
• If a man says “I’ll call you,” and if he doesn’t, he did not forget, he did not lose your number, he didn’t run out of balance,he did not die, he just did not want to call you.

• Don’t try to teach men how to do anything in public. they can learn in private; in public they have to just know!

• Men who are married tend to have a longer life expectancy than those who are single. But they are the ones who are more willing to die ( 😉 ).

• Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.men

• Women don’t make fools of men, most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

• Give a guy a hanging message, something vague like “You know what?!..uh…never mind!” and he is sure to force you to take a choice between either tell me or kill yourself and if you don’t tell him he would come to a conclusion which is far from what you were thinking.

• Most men hate to shop. That’s why the men’s department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

• Men have a strong passion to change but do not have a will power that strong.

• Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyche!

• For men, the most complicated words to hear are, “I don’t think it’s working, We need to talk about our relationship”, and the most confusing one, “You are not the same person I loved, you have changed”

• If a man prepares dinner for you and it is nicely presented, beware.. he is serious.

And Finally a quote by (see it yourself :P) :

(wo)men

So, after the truly insignificant and unworthy discussion that happened above, I again wish you a very Happy Laughter Day…

And the award goes to…

5 Apr

Hello everybody… I guess stars are showing favour on your favorite blog, that is, Creatigentt… How?? Well… just yesterday it collected 1337 likes, more that 18500 views and innumerable valuable comments which keeps on motivating and inspiring me to continue this nonsense.. 😛

Well, a new achievement just added, as  Danger_DX™ presented me with the following award:

Blog of the Year Award 1 star jpeg

So, thank you very much for this honour and keeping the award speech for the last… I would first list out the rules of this award.

Rules for the Award:

1-Select the blog(s) you think deserve the Blog Of The Year 2013 Award.

(done that in the last)

2-Write a post about the blog(s) you have chosen (there are no minimum or maximum number of blogs required) and ‘present’ the blog(s) with their award.(Will do that very briefly with their names in the last)

3-Let the blog(s) you have chosen know that you have given them this award and share the instructions with them- (please don’t alter the instructions or the badges!) (will do that after having finished with the post… I mean is there any hurry? :P)

4-Come over and say hello to the originator of the Blog Of The Year 2013 Award via this link:  http://thethoughtpalette.co.uk/blog-awards-2-/blog-of-the-year-2013-award/
(Will do it… don’t ask me when)
5-You can now also join the Blog Of The Year Award Facebook Page. Click the link here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/BlogoftheYear to share your blog posts with an even wider audience. (Wider audience.. you said?? Already done.. :P)

6-Finally, as a winner of the award, please add a link back to the blog that presented you with this award-and then proudly display the award on your blog- and start collecting stars! (Will do this after posting the post… i mean this is what is required)

So, the nominations are… Tantana…

  • Maxima – Beautiful poems, emotional and deep worded
  • dilipnaidu – believes in living life “less serious”
  • eMORFES – excellent photographer
  • rejistephenson – new to blogging, but impressive and knowledgeable posts
  • Piyush Mishra – In the About page, told all about his educational and career qualifications in detail, but in the end using the blog to be just him…
  • Kamalpreet – says a thing without writing, actually through pictures mostly 😛
  • Arindam Saha : the best for the last… if you know hindi… one visit is must, if you don’t know hindi… then also visit for random articles in english 🙂

And now the speech… (in tears… khushi waale) Thank you very much to the dear blogger who actually recognized the true value of this velli blogger and inspired her to be more velli.. 🙂 😛

 

You Meant The World

31 Mar

Well…. this post…. I am really very sad while typing this… One of my best friend’s beloved has expired. Her soulmate, her best friend and her life… and you know what’s tragic… she realised that it meant so much to her when it was gone. It happens right?? With everybody… We realise the importance of what is ours’ only after it’s gone because the rest of the time we are too busy in  comparing what others have and we don’t. She realised the importance of the most important thing in her world when it’s gone… forever. I have written the following poem from her perspective on her loss. (P.S. I am not good at poetry… so no matter how worse it gets… bhawnao ko samjho)

So you are gone, leaving me behindindex

to think about you and cry all night

Watching the TV is not such fun

as was talking to you so much

Never did I knew that you were special

Always treated you without any care

Always had I slept with you on my side

And woken up to see you giving me a smile

Always you helped me to get through the exam

I raised the question and you got the answer fast

Never had i dreamt that I would live without you

Now, in the dreams you come and meet me

I know you are gone and that’s the bitter truth

But I would remember you, because you were the first.

 

Now, i should reveal as to of whose obituary report you just read. It was her LG phone. Ya, it was stolen by someone just two days ago. And in these two days, she has actually realised that the love of her life was that phone. Not parents, not the lover, not the siblings, but that phone…. I hope that phone rests in peace and the new one fills in the space as soon as possible… ( Well her new phone is S4, so I guess it would not be  difficult at all) 😛 🙂

 

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