Tag Archives: fictioreal

Celebrity Talk

15 Dec

In Indian society, the level of youth being motivated to make it large in his life, is directly proportional to the fact as to how the celebrities in the society are treated.

If I even talk about inter- caste marriage in the family, I would be either beheaded or banished from the society. But if a film star performs inter- religion marriage, it becomes the unique precedent of cultural and communal integrity.

Recently one ‘superstar’ of our nation was acquitted of the charges of rash car driving leading to death of one person who was sleeping on the footpath. The whole nation wanted to know why the homeless was sleeping on the pavement. But if I mistakenly even pluck a flower from roadside pavement decors, I would be fined Rs. 500. A celebrity can go out in public, become grossly drunk and vomit, but I, the common man, cannot even spit in the dustbin without people gazing at me.

All these things indicate that as one rises up on the ladder of success, he goes out of the gravitation force of rules, laws and society.

There is one more thing that these Celebrities can do, but common man can’t. It’s hypocrisy. Recently, one Bollywood actress whose only claim to fame was her so – called oversized body has shed off that ‘over’ with the help of gym. Now, she is considered to be outspoken and previously she always advocated that beauty is not in body. You don’t have to be in shape according to society. Just wear your own shape and decide yourself. It is to be noted that she inspired many girls to be comfortable about their looks as it is and not to be slim for anyone. The same girl now released photos from a photo shoot where her extra pounds are nowhere to be seen and now she advocated fitness. Well! if it would have been me, I would have been annoyingly disturbed about my size by even my parents. Then when I would have tried to shed it off by going to gym or being on a diet, I would have been equally demotivated and after all this if I would have been successful in achieving the loss of some kgs, it would be said that I am jealous of my cousins who are slim or that I am preparing myself for some boy so that I could get married. In my case I would be doing it for anyone but me and in her case, she can’t do it for anyone else. NO!

Oh! There is one more thing that society teaches that if some celebrity does good deeds, his previous bad acts should be forgotten. Not even forgiven, but simply forgotten. So, this means good deeds are like gift vouchers that can be used in bad times. In this era of capitalism, the economic angle of these vouchers need to be studied carefully. It has to be kept in mind that the Gita gyaan should be a little amended. According to Gita, only focus on your work and do not worry about result, but now before you do your work, focus as to if it would fetch you any of those vouchers, so that when result is out, you can use them if needed.

So, for example, get drunk and abuse people, if anyone asks, you may say that you had fed dogs the previous day. That dog would never know that by feeding him, the man just bought a policy to secure his future.

In the end, if you ever come across a news stating that Harshda, a blogger from Delhi is caught red handed for stealing pencil and pens from office, please forgive me, as writing less on the blog nowadays, I am also kind of doing a service. 😛

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Interviews- The One With Madhura- II

15 Nov

So, the interview with Madhura is here. Madhura, there is no character named Madhure in Ramayana, but I didn’t lie. Madhure is the past life name of Mandodari, the wife of Ravana and mother of three illustrious but ill- famed sons.

She came down on earth to answer the queries which generally come in mind when her role in the saga is discussed (which is rarely done).

Me: Hello

She: Namaskar

Me: So… why have you chosen me for taking the interview?

She: My husband and son told that there are plenty of dumb people on paatal, and so don’t waste time on finding the right kind. They suggested your name and made my job easy.

Me: If I am that dumb… why is it that your family encounters only me.

She: God punishes in different ways.

Me: (Ignored :P) So… Mandodari… tell us about something about yourself.

She: You are taking my interview… what do you know about me?

Me: Well… We don’t find much about you in Ramayana… but in other texts there are stories that you were the daughter of Mayasura and Hema. One day Ravana visited your house and fell in love with you and they you two were married. Is this true?

She: That depends on what you believe. You believe what you heard and read or what a demon’s wife is gonna tell you?

Me: Well… I will believe what a sage’s daughter tells me.

She: I am a married woman… I am no longer anyone’s daughter. My only accountability can be drawn through my husband.

Me: Aah… talking about your husband… some say that he abducted Sita as Rama had dishonored Supranakha, his sister. How was that an appropriate conduct for one who is considered to be the biggest devotee of Shiva?

She: Get your facts right. He did not abduct Sita because of his sister. He had already heard about Rama’s victory over several demons. He had the knowledge that this is either Vishnu or just a common man having extraordinary skills… in any situation he knew he would win.

Me: But he lost…

She: How? In the battleground, it was proved that Rama was an incarnation of Vishnu as no other being in the world had power to destroy my lord. He was killed by the God himself.

Me: If that was the only motive, why would he abduct Sita? He could have waged war against Ayodya or against Rama itself.

She: Wouldn’t he then be looked upon as a fool? Why would the keeper of Kuber’s treasure need to invade anyone? He had power, authority, money… everything… what would have been the explanation to invade Ayodya? And about challenging Rama.. well… that is even more amusing as to why would the greatest king be interested in a forest dweller.

Me: Ok… talking about Seeta… how was her conduct in Ashoka Vatika?

She: Well… she was a serene lady. I was very much impressed by her faithfulness towards her husband, and the belief that he would come to rescue her was applaudable.

Me: What was your reaction when your husband told that he has abducted a woman.

She: I was not at all surprised at first as similar incidents had occured in the past, but when I came to know that he had taken the guise of sadhu and fooled Sita to believe him I was a bit disappointed. He did a sin henious than forcefully taking a woman.

Me: We read in Valmiki Ramayana that when all the great warriors of Lanka died, Ravana organizes a yajna (“fire sacrifice”) to assure his victory. Rama sent a troop of monkeys headed by Hanuman and the monkey prince Angada to destroy this yajna. The monkeys created havoc in Ravana’s palace, but Ravana continues the yajna. Angada dragged you by your hair in front of Ravana. The enraged Ravana abandons the yajna and strikes Angada with his sword. Is this correct?

She: You will find gruesome descriptions in Krittivasi Ramayana and Bichitra Ramayana. Well.. I would just say that my husband was no less loyal than Rama and protected me whenever needed.

Me: Ok… last question… what did you learn from Sita?

She: What was the need? Instead she learnt quite a lot things from me.

Me: Oh..

She: Like… how to put on makeup… I gave her many of my secrets… and yeah… she learnt a thing which she actually had to follow in later life… when Rama abandoned her and sent her to forest where she gave birth to her two illustrious sons… it was my conduct that she followed.

Me: And that was?

She: To be with your man… always. If I was with my husband, when he conquered the world… it was my duty to be with him when he failed at the hands of a forest dweller. If I was with him at his best then I had the duty to be at his worst too. And I did that. Sita also did that.

Me: Panchakanyas…. the one among the five virgins… thank you for coming over and chat with me.

She: Well… I was so bored in heavens… but still don’t call me back.

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So, the interview is over. Will meet you soon after I make up something else to publish. 😛

Jaanlewa Jaanu- VI

31 Jul

With actually no topic in mind, I start with my favorite topic, the Jaanlewa Jaanu. This one is the most appreciated and the most read post series on this blog.

So, this time the jaanu is in a mall with the guy to shop for a bag (that’s what she is looking for). Let’s see how it turns out!

Boy: Baby… we have been roaming for the last 35 minutes and we have not entered even a single bag shop.

Girl: I know… I was thinking to get these foot wears… aren’t they pretty?” She asked without looking at him.

Boy: “If you like them, they are definitely good. ” He said with a smiling face. (I know cheap line).

The girl bought that footwear. The boy was quite sure that now she would enter the bag showroom, but to his despair, there were Biba and UCB in the way to Caprese. So, the girl enetred Biba. (You see… absolutely not her fault, she is a girl, so she will shop, the person with her is a boy so he will pay).

Girl: Look… how pretty this dress is. You think I should try this?

And before the boy could exercise his right to speech and expression, the salesperson came and spilled “Oh sure… Ma’am the fresh summer collection is here. You will absolutely fall for the new designs. Let me help you.”

The boy now knew that his lady love is gone with the salesman. He knew that he would not see her for almost two hours now. He knew that she would be trying every new dress that she could grab on and ask for the salesperson’s advice rather than his. And knowing all this he was happy.

As he turned his mobile data, to check out the world happenings on watsapp and other social networks, his phone pinged. One after the other messages were coming from his love, showing him dresses that she had selected. He zoomed the dresses to see if the price tag was visible. But the girl seemed to be a clever photographer. He was thinking of calling his boss and applying for a loan as it seemed that whole of his salary would be spent in the next some hours or so.

There was a time when he eagerly used to wait for Sundays and now is the time, when he has to meet his girlfriend on Sunday and sometimes has to lie that he is working on Sundays too.

He was deep engrossed in his thoughts while at the same time looking at his Facebook wall aimlessly. He was just going to comment on his best friend’s vacation photo when his phone rang. He looked at his watch. It was 7 p.m. One hour had gone by. “Good time passes fast.” He thought. He picked up the call.

“Where are you?” A commanded voice asked him.

“In Biba only… you were trying the clothes na… so I just…”

“Come fast to the cash counter.” She said and put off the phone immediately.

He started walking with heavy feet and came close to the counter. He saw two more men like him who very having the same expressions of despair on their faces which were being completely ignored by their girls.

He pulled out his wallet and gave his Maestro  Card. The girl came out happy and the boy came out with a little less balance in his bank account.  Money can’t but love, but it can surely make lover, a beggar.

“So… now?” He asked.

“Now… we will eat something and go to home.”

“But… your bag? No need now?”

“How can there be no need… I just changed  my mind at not buying them now. I am too tired now.

(I wish she changes her mind and does not replace it with anything.) He thought.

After that, they went for the dinner in the Mall’s Food Court and heeded home afterwards. After the shopping, the girl was exhausted and the boy was extorted. 😛

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Lonely Crowd

1 Mar

“How dare you touch me? Can’t you sit properly?”

A shrilling voice in the midst of routine murmurings  turned the attention of every single person present in that coach. It was almost 9:30 in the morning. The city folks were rushing to reach their workplaces. That Metro was witnessing the usual crowd, the daily passengers, the daily musings and the boringly routine passage of stations. But, the voice turned everybody’s attention. The young brigade pulled out the earplugs from their ears and the ‘grown ups’ rested the Candy Crush Saga for a while. That shrilling voice which halted everything was a girl. A girl in yellow suit and black sweater. Seemingly in her late 20s, she was screaming over a man who must be in his early 40s.

“There is so much rush… I didn’t intend to…” The man tried to explain.

“Oh, everybody is standing in the rush…  this man behind me… is also standing… he didn’t touch… you are comfortably seated…” The girl shouted.

“So what?? Huh… why are you creating a scene? First of all, I didn’t touch you… and even if you felt it… I am sorry for the mistake…”

“Oh mistake? Just because I am pointing it out to you… You feel it’s a mistake… otherwise…” A man who was standing beside the lady now interrupted.

“What is the problem?” He asked the lady.

“This man is continuously touching my legs with his feet… not once but thrice he did so… and I know its not co- incidental.”

The whole coach was listening to the details. They wanted the voices to be raised, so that they could get the audio clearly. There was a consensual silence and the only voices that could be heard were coming from that side.

“You are seeing the crowd na… maybe he is right and by mistake…”. The man tried to put off the matter.

But the lady continued… “If you again touch my feet, you will be solely responsible for the consequences.” She warned the man in the seat.

By this the so- called framed accused also started shouting and warned the girl that if she does not shut her mouth he would do so by slapping her.

Now, the dumb but definitely not deaf crowd came into senses and tried to peace out. There were voices from all over the coach.

“Someone hand over both of them to the police.”

“Someone just shut them off.”

A teenager commuting along with his friend told him, “This is the first time I am witnessing such ‘interesting’ dispute in the Metro.”

Some were giggling over the issue, while some were advising everybody to do this or that so that peace could be restored. Some were talking to themselves as to why ladies travel in the general coach when they have a ladies compartment (Not realising that about 10,000 lady personnel were recruited by DMRC to keep the men out of the ladies compartment and even after that, a fine of almost Rs. 25,000 is received every month by DMRC by way of men’ travelling in ladies coach).

Well, it’s not an uncommon sight. It’s not an uncommon incident. The only reason I shared this incident was (a)to applaud the girl who voiced up. As i read somewhere in this regard, Its their shame not ours. Instead we should be proud of ourselves to voice up at the right time for the right cause and (b) to ask a question (to myself too) that ‘would you be the uncommoner to step up and help in reducing such common incidences’?Now, you would ask HOW? What can we do? If nothing more for example in this case, the people who were occupying the seats could have offered one to that lady… pretty simple… right?Now, you would again argue.. “the lady might be acting”. Sure… she might be.. but what if she is not? It was 9:30 in the morning… I guess everybody was not tired.

Anyways, the incident is over or might be continuing in some other Metro, in the presence of a different crowd, with different type of shrills, everything different except the common tragedy.

But the question remains, would you give an answer or become one yourself?

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That crowd where you stand alone !!

 

The Last Of It

11 Nov

The Last Minor

HI… A very very good evening!! I know I have been very lazy on blog nowadays, I know you are expecting the next chapter of The Link very badly and I know that you miss the sarcastic jokes even more… yeah yeah… I know all of that. But what you don’t know is that it’s the last year of my college. That in next year by this time of the year, I would have become a law graduate, I would have taken a step further in becoming a writer and I might have taken up a job (anything but law :P) . So, now you know… And so.. from today I am starting a new series which would be called “The Last Of It”, featuring the last day of the college, the last project, the last exam, the last conversation with a teacher and many other things. The series starts today as today was my last minor exam.

Let me explain the scheme of examinations in my college in a nutshell. Every subject is evaluated out of 100 marks. An exam of 10 marks is taken every month, 5 marks are in the hands of teacher and we need to give a big semester exam for 75 marks at the end of the session. These 10 marker exams are mid- term, which are generally called ‘minors’. So, I gave my last minor. Last minor of the law course. Although I have a whole semester running from January to May too, but in the last semester we only have to intern for six months at some legal firm or the like.

So, today, the feeling that it’s the last minor exam was … na… not there :P. The exam was at 3. I met my friend at Rajiv Chowk to go to Dwarka.

She: What are the topics that are coming?

Me: Don’t really remember… but I have the book… once we reach college… we will ask someone. Waise bhi… how does it matter… it’s the last minor.”

And then since neither of us knew the syllabus, we talked about ridiculous things for an hour till we reached our college.

We reached there at 11 and the exam was at 3. So, we had ample time. A friend who stays in the hostel came to the place where we were sitting. She enlightened us about the syllabus. The syllabus was very easy, we had read it previously. So, we didn’t felt like reading it. So, after that, we talked endlessly about future plans, wedding plans, honeymoon destinations, someone even suggested me the names of my future kids, and so on and so forth. Well… it was 12:30, that we realised that it’s out last minor and we should crack it well. So, we took a break from our talks, brought out our lunch boxes and did the most important thing for which we come to college. We savored on two lunches, two coffees (I don’t drink coffee) and one samosa.

It was 1 when we finished the lunch and again it was time for some bakar. The topic shifted from here to there… flowing from professional life to personal lives and how each of us would be after 5 years. I know that is pure girls talk, a talk which every girl says “we don’t do” 😛 and that’s the fun that it is done by everybody… sometimes (many a times) by the boys too.

Anyway… It was 2 when we started studying with the note that “it’s the last exam, we should perform the ritual of studying”.

We went to the examination hall at 2:50 and settled down at our places. The invigilator came at 2:56 and distributed the sheets. I asked the person sitting behind me, “What’s the date today?” He answered “How does it matter, its the last minor”. But then he told me.

The exam was pretty easy ( Yes! my family follows this so… ) Yes the exam was awesome and more awesome was the feeling that the last minor was over.

We came outside the exam hall. One of the classmates asked me “How was the exam? And i responded “How does it matter? It was the last minor”. She gave me a weird look. Coming out of the college I felt like fleeing the subject notes in the air above  the playground. But then the thought stuck… the 75 mark exam is yet to be given. So, I postponed the plans for next month.

So, this was all about the last minor. Many such stories coming down the lane as the last of the law college happens gradually. Till then, Bye!!

Oh, not till then, because you never know… “The Link” is not over yet… right?? 🙂 Have a good day 🙂

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In Conversation with Indrajeet

3 Oct

So… your favorite blog is back… for those who missed me… well get some work people and those who didn’t… never mind… i didn’t missed you too… 😛

You would ask… where was I? Well… there was some problem with my WordPress site. It rejected to open… until yesterday and when it opened…  notifications hanging on the left side of the screen brought nostalgia. Well… talking about today’s topic… its Dusshehra… as many of you would know.  And if you remember the last year’s Dusshehra… I had met Ravana. So, how could the stars spare me this time. But, this time.. it was Meghnada. Meghanda… this name, he got because of his vocal qualities. It is said that his voice was as powerful as the thundering of clouds. He is also known as Indrajeet, as he had won Indra, the king of all deities.

So, this time I was roaming in the park near my home, when I meet this person in broken hawaii chappals, an old jeans and patched t- shirt. He called me and asked if I had some water.

I went to him with water in one hand and a ready fist to break his nose if he tries to do anything wrong in the other. He was breathing heavily, and grabbed the water bottle from my hand. He was looking quite feeble and it was evident from his face that he had not eaten anything for days. As a responsible citizen, I brought out the pepper spray from my bag, and went a bit closer to him and asked

“Are you okay?”

Hearing this, he looked at me with surprise as if he didn’t knew I was there. He was continuously staring at me and then looked at the bottle that I had given him.

“You can see me?” He asked in amazement.

With this question, there was no doubt left that the man was insane, and I should leave. As I hurriedly turned back, he asked again.

“Can you really see me?”

This time his voice was stronger and it felt like a cloud has burst somewhere.

I was totally horrified, but kept a clam face and said, “Yes… I can see you, that is why I could give you that water bottle.”

“Do you know who am I?”

My mind crossed all the limits of what this man thinks he is. What  will he tell me… maybe he would say that he is Barack Obama or Bill Gates or maybe the creepy “tumahra aashiq”. But I held my mind firmly and asked… “No, I don’t know..”

“Even with this voice… oh… maybe I have lost it… Well I am Meghnad.. nice to meet you…” He extended his hand towards me for a hand shake.

Now after hearing that, the questions were turned, Am I insane? Why do I encounter this family every Dusshehra?

“Oh… hi… nice to meet you…” I replied.

“You are not surprised? I mean meeting the Satyuga devil must be unheard of..”

“No.. not for me… actually I had met your father last year. So, I can totally understand that this is happening.”

“Oh… so you are that little girl… ya dad was telling he met a fool those days.”

“Yeah.. thanks for bringing that up… what are you doing here… and in these clothes?”

“Yeah.. dad told me that Delhites can rob you… so you better be cautious… so I came prepared… now tell me would anyone rob me?”

“No… I guess no… but then why were you… like… dying for water?”

“Oh… I just ate an apple… it is so adulterated… almost killed me… how do you people survive?”

“Ok… you don’t need to care about the world… what are you doing here?”

“Oh… my father told that you make excellent effigies of dad, Khumbhakaran uncle and me.. so just strolled down from hell to enjoy the show.”

“Do you know that while we burn you down, we imagine  that you are actually dying.”

“Ya… I know and I am here to witness the fake content on your faces.” He smiled.

As i turned back to head towards my home, he questioned

“Why do you think those petty men of woods you all worship able to kill the most powerful threesome in the world.?”

“Maybe because they were justified. Their lady was in your wrongful confinement… they repeatedly asked you to return her, but you denied… they didn’t kill you… that lady’s will killed you.”

“Do you know that I was murdered when I was in meditation. I was doing a yagya when they came stealthily in the cave and killed me… how would you justify that? Killing an unarmed person?”

“I think it’s totally justified. And the moral of your story is that if you call Gods with a wrong intention, they will come and treat you right.”

“But I was the most powerful… I defeated Indra… defeated that Laxmana twice and even Rama once… but they killed me with wrong means… nothing can justify their wrong means.”

“You cannot complain… even you and your brother had used wrong tactics.”

“But if they do the same wrong, then how are they different from us?”

“They are different because they didn’t defeated you to prove or show the world that you are weak… they fought for a cause… and there is no further justification for whatever they did.”

“I guess you are no longer a fool that my father met.” He said in despair.

“But I like one thing about you…” I said.

“What?” He asked excitedly.

“That you won over Indra… I mean that’s a big achievement.”

“Oh… that was a cake piece for me…”

“Sigh…” I looked at my watch. It was almost 7.

“Oh… it’s time.” I told him.

“What are we waiting for then? Let’s go and enjoy the show… after all that 5 minute affair is all what Dusshehra is about.. isn’t it?”

He said these words very casually, and walked with me to the open ground where announcement of a corrupt politician to come forward and shoot the burning arrow towards Meghnad was being made.

 

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Cooking… An Art More Complex Than The Rocket Science

5 Jul

The following post is written for the ‘My Beautiful Food’ contest held by IndiBlogger and sponsored by http://www.myborosil.com/

 

“So… you don’t know how to cook.”

“I…I…do… and what do you mean by that?? You just ate daal, spinach and rotis.”

“That was daal? I thought it was some kind of salted water, where was the daal? And the spinach… whatever, but you don’t know how to cook… admit it.”

“Okay… I will admit that I am a bad cook… but… I cooked.”

“Smriti… there is good food, there is bad food and there is something that the maker calls the food and the eater trashes away. What you presented falls in the third category. Plus what do you mean by ‘I cooked’… you have to cook.. that’s something you are obliged to do.”

“Well… I tried…”

“You tried… because you don’t know how to cook… right?”

“Your purpose of marrying me was to judge my culinary skills?”

“No… but it’s time that you start learning this skill… seriously…”

Aamil left the dining table to get ready for the office. He was recently being married to Smriti. Smriti works as a secretary in a private firm. Her husband, Aamil, works in a government agency falling into the officer grade pay.

After he left, Smriti was thinking about the dinner’s menu. There were many vegetables in the refrigerator, almost every type of pulse in the storeroom, but the basic problem was that she didn’t knew how to put these things to the best use. She searched on youtube for easy recipes and listed out two which seemed quite easy.

For the main dinner she picked out the recipe of jeera rice and kadhai paneer and for snacks she thought of dhokla.

She used the Mixing Bowl from her collection of myborosil.com to mix the ingredients of the batter of dhokla that included gram flour, salt, curd and baking soda. She mixed it well, transferred it in Rectangular Dish and placed it in the microwave and left the rest of the cooking to be done by the machine.

Then she turned towards the jeera rice which was simple as there were not much ingredients involved and the steps were also very less. But the main battle was to be fought with kadhai paneer.

She pieced the paneer, prepared the gravy and followed the recipe very religiously. The colour of the gravy was royal and the fragrance of fresh spices was talking a lot about the future of the dish.

As soon as she had prepared the three dishes, the bell rung.

She opened the door with a smiling face. Aamil was quite surprised at the mysterious smile of his wife, but was too tired to ask her the reason. She went into the kitchen and brought the dhokla that she had prepared and two cups of tea. Aamil was surprised to see the dhokla.

“Where did this came from?” He asked.

“From your own house.”

“Ohkay… it looks good… is it really good or its because of the Rectangular Dish in which it is placed.”

“You decide.” She said with a confidence.

He took out a piece of it and without using the plate, put it inside his mouth. For once his eyes glistened and his mouth said, “Wonderful… its hard to believe that you have made it.”

“Believe it, because I have put in a lot of effort…”

Aamil realised that he had been too hard on his wife that morning and maybe this was her wife’s way of responding.

“I am very sorry for today morning, I never knew you would take that so seriously but I am glad that you did… but that obviously doesn’t  justify my rude words, so I am sorry.”

“Its okay… I am glad that you realised your fault… and don’t tell me that you are sorry… because…”

“Because..? He said munching the other piece.

“Because I did something for which I should be sorry and so both the sorrys  cancel out each other.” She said in a perplexed tone.

“What have you done?”

“I was preparing jeera rice and kadhai paneer for you…and..”

“Wow… that is so thoughtful and trust me I just can’t wait to taste them.”

“Well.. you would have to wait…”

“Ya… I know… till 8:30… that is our dinner time… I know…” He said.

“Yes… yes… till 8:30 of some other day.”

“But you just said…”

“The rice burnt and  for the kadhai paneer…

“The kadhai paneer?”

“It too burnt…”

“Ouch… wow… well how?” He asked in confusion.

“Actually…  the rice in the cooker were boiling and the gravy in the kadhai was taking some time to cook and the recipe said that it would take almost 10 minutes for the gravy to be ready… so…”

“Smriti… go on… so?”

“So… I called my mother and…”

“And you need not explain more… you called your mother and that explains a lot… you forgot to check on the two things while discussing about stupid household talks… didn’t you?”

“She was telling me about her early days with cooking… the topic stretched.”

“Smriti… you were talking to your mother, even when you ask her about her well- being she stretches it to almost 10 minutes.”

Smriti stood there, with her eyes stuck on the floor.

“Where are the two things?”

“In the kitchen.”

Aamil went into the kitchen and had a look.

“It seems you really tried… sincerely tried.”

“I did.”

“Then I will not let my wife’s effort go into drain… I will eat this… howsover bad it might taste.”

“Aalim… I tasted it… one suggestion… I know you love me… but if you eat this… i fear that love is definitely getting down the drain… so please let’s order pizza.”

“Thank you… I was just trying to sound concerned… this…”

“This..?”

“Well.. this is like…. who cares… the dhokla was awesome…” He tried to divert from the main course and cuddled with his wife to divert himself from the fact that how bad a cook his wife was.

 

Second Saturday!!

10 May

Hi… fellas… So… this happened… every word that follows actually happened… (not today although)… tragic for me… par aap maze lo…

So, on a fateful Thursday I planned to visit court. I asked one of my friends from law school to accompany me (timepass) and she agreed. We decided to go to Tees Hazari Court. I was very excited, as in Tees Hazari, many matrimonial (masala) cases come up for hearing. The court opens at 10 a.m., and we decided to meet at the court at ten only. The dedication, the excitement and the expectations ( of getting to hear gossip cases) was high.

On Saturday, I woke up at 8, got ready by 9 and boarded the Metro to Tees Hazari at almost 9:15. By 9:55, I reached the desired Metro Station. I called up my friend to know her whereabouts. She told that she would reach in a minute or so. After she came, we went outside the station and suddenly something stuck her… “Aaj to second Saturday hai…” the thing didn’t stuck me or maybe it had, but the disbelief caused me to ask

“So…?”

“Dude… its second Saturday… courts are closed…”

“Why?”

“Because its second Saturday..”

“Why?”

“See… this all started when man started designating a particular day… they settled for seven days in a week and then…”

“Ohkay… got it… I got it that we came to the court to hear the proceedings and it’s closed… what the f…”

I became quite angry, and then sad, and then kind of depressed and then I suddenly laughed.

I laughed for almost 320 seconds. My friend knew about my “once started, never ending” way of laughter. I was laughing really hard standing on the pavement outside the court and my friend was standing beside me, giving a look to the world that said, “Dude… I am waiting for the bus… I don’t know her”.

After I stopped or rather the passerby’s look forced me to. I asked,

“So.. what do we do??”

“March home..”

“I am not in a mood to go home. I had announced so proudly about today’s plans and when they would come to know that this happened, they all would first burst out into laughter and would always bring that up in front of everybody.

“So… what should we do? Oh.. there is a cool mall in NSP… why don’t we go there..” She suggested.

“Have you been there earlier?” I asked.

“Na.. but one of my friends has… ans she said that’s really good.”

I had no other options. And as they say, beggars cannot be choosers. So, we boarded the Metro and reached NSP in some other 30 minutes. We de-boarded, and went to a mall which was seeming to be nearest the Metro Station.

“Are you sure this is it??

“Ya… I can’t see any other mall here…”

“Okay…”. We reached there. At the entrance, the guard told us that the mall shall open at 11 a.m.. We had reached at 10:30..

So, we waited outside the mall for half- an- hour. We talked about boyfriends(of others), girlfriends (obviously of others), parents (of our own) and at a point about someone who has nothing to do with our lives.

Well… after half- an- hour of tanning, we went inside to find out that only three  floors of that ‘building’ were tagged as mall. The other almost nine floors were offices. And in those three floors, there was no food court. Ya… I mean what’s a mall without food court?? But I guess for these situations someone has said “You never know…”

I gave my friend a “cool mall? Huh??” look.

She was already remembering her friend and I was complementing her friend’s relatives my own way.

We came out after 10 minutes that we had entered. Now, we realised that the world is not accepting us. The spiritual gyan crossed the mind that the world is shunning out its doors for us. And then the second thought, ‘what the fuck’. We went to the Metro Station again. There was a so- called ‘SALE’ of foot-wears. And if you are a girl, you know what SALE means and if you are a boy, you are the unfortunate one, not to understand it’s value and if you are a boy who has a girlfriend, then I do pity you. Well… coming to my own story, we entered the shop. The foot-wears we liked were not on sale and those which were on sale were just too good to be purchased at that price. We wasted another twenty minutes of our aimless lives and then boarded metro to our respective homes.

You will say, why I shared this on the blog. Well, are you upto reasoning? Please get out..!!images

 

Facts You Can Laugh Upon…

4 May
So… it’s the first Sunday of May, 2014… World Laughter Day… and this brought a smile on your face.. right??
Now, I am not just letting you go with a shiny smile up there, just sit back and enjoy the useless humour for which you come around on this blog.
Presenting some interestingly humorous facts about men and women… I hope you find then funny (and even if you don’t… what are the odds… Laugh Out Loud… Its World Laughter Day 😛 )

Facts About Women:
• A woman after visiting her girlfriend for weeks can return home, call the same friend and talk for three hours (yes… it happens… plus… when somebody would ask “What were you talking about” The girl would be like.. “Nothing.. just random things”)

• Women going out with girlfriends order for a large pizza, coke, garlic bread(anything left??) as opposed to the act they put up that they eat too little, when men are around.

• When a woman answers, “I’m fine, ” either she is not fine or she is not gonna be fine in a few seconds.

• Women love to talk and talk, and then talk some more and then talk about what the other person listened to, and if you are not ready for that after- talks round of questions… you are either dead or… ya you are mostly dead. women

• Women love a bargain, even if they don’t need the item. So, if they see a purse that is almost exactly like one they already have, but it has been marked down 75%, they are going to most likely buy it because women think they saved money on it!!

• Women know more than they lead on. They don’t want to show up by knowing more about politics than you do, so they “play dumb”, just to give you the satisfaction when women are really thinking about how dumb men really are on the subject!!

• Women are extremely extrovert but they would hide things that are concerned with their age, weight, feelings, and qualities.

• Women are bad at keeping secrets, and on top of that, they will not consider it untrustworthy when they only tell two or three people about it. P.S. : they are bad at hiding others’ secrets, not their owns’

• Women tend to ask questions that cannot be objectively answered or cannot be answered at all, and if you do answer they won’t agree, they will have their own logic and after an hour or so, they will say, “You know we wasted our time, the question was just not worth it” and the interesting part, if you are a male you will feel guilty.

• Women check out their reflections on any shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, store windows, and even their own shadows, but their favorite? Car’s rear view mirror, especially if it’s not their car.

• A handbag is an essential accessory for a woman and if she doesn’t carry it, she feels extremely awkward. One more thing, most of the girl keep their cell phone in their hands, all the time, even if they have pockets in the trouser.

• Women like looking at men, just as much as men like looking at women. They just know how to hide it better!

• Women have a hard time admitting when they are wrong. This means that a woman hardly ever apologizes and thinks that it’s a man’s duty to apologize.

• A woman speaks about 7,000 words a day; a man speaks about 2,000.

Facts about Men
• If a man says “I’ll call you,” and if he doesn’t, he did not forget, he did not lose your number, he didn’t run out of balance,he did not die, he just did not want to call you.

• Don’t try to teach men how to do anything in public. they can learn in private; in public they have to just know!

• Men who are married tend to have a longer life expectancy than those who are single. But they are the ones who are more willing to die ( 😉 ).

• Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.men

• Women don’t make fools of men, most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

• Give a guy a hanging message, something vague like “You know what?!..uh…never mind!” and he is sure to force you to take a choice between either tell me or kill yourself and if you don’t tell him he would come to a conclusion which is far from what you were thinking.

• Most men hate to shop. That’s why the men’s department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

• Men have a strong passion to change but do not have a will power that strong.

• Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyche!

• For men, the most complicated words to hear are, “I don’t think it’s working, We need to talk about our relationship”, and the most confusing one, “You are not the same person I loved, you have changed”

• If a man prepares dinner for you and it is nicely presented, beware.. he is serious.

And Finally a quote by (see it yourself :P) :

(wo)men

So, after the truly insignificant and unworthy discussion that happened above, I again wish you a very Happy Laughter Day…

The Festival of Voting

10 Apr

“VOTE!!!”

This word was being shrilled upon my head, by every news channel, every entertainment channel, in the college and in the house too….

Vote… ya let’s vote… people raise hands who want to eat pumpkin for dinner, only one hand raised…

Now people who want to eat chicken curry… three hands raised… majority wins…

Voting helps in taking the most simple to the most complex decisions in everybody’s life. Where the decision  is going to affect many, it is considered prudent to ask everybody about their opinion. And everytime, the majority wins… the quality of decision does not matter, the decision itself doesn’t matter, what matters is that the decision has been taken collectively…

In India, we are witnessing a period of change, they say. A phase of transformation, a phase that will create a history and a phase that will bring in a future that belongs to the people.

But, doesn’t these fancy lines being propagated every five years, when elections come? Don’t we face the same sarcasm and despair again and again?

What’s new this time? Except people going to vote and immediately uploading the selfy snaps with the inked index finger. The mode of campaigning has changed, social media is optimally exploited for the purpose. What’s new this elections? Maybe that people are talking more about it, people are taking interest in politics and they are interested to know who wins. Because somehow, they want to be the part of that majority.

Now coming to the main post…

With the election fever on… many States already have and many are in the process of witnessing the use of the only powerful tool with the citizens of India, i.e. voting. Today, it happened in Delhi. I opened my fb profile at around 11 in the morning and found around 10-20 people’s profile pic or cover page changed. Many of them were photos of the party they were going to vote for, and others kept that obsession to themselves and just uploaded their photos with the captions like “Feeling nervous, first time to vote”, “Felt good, first time to vote”… and the like. I was surprised, I mean pleasantly surprised, but shortly the pleasant thing gave way. My phone rang and the rose of my house (househelp’s name is Gulabo), informed me that she is on a leave because of elections. Her argument? Sabji(my father) got a holiday, you got a holiday… everybody should be equal… and my reaction. “Sigh! Indeed”.

So, the leisure time to browse upon internet was over and it was time to encounter the miseries of real life. I finished her job in almost half and hour and then switched on the TV to catch up with the news. All over it was elections… bringing you the live coverage, other said, bringing you the fastest coverage, the third one, bringing you the savvy coverage…

The true citizen in my hear woke up. I got ready and along with my father, went to that polling booth, where we were directed by the Election Commission to caste our vote.

We entered the school. A feeling of pride, happiness and excitement crept in (all three in one :P). The man there checked the particulars, the lady beside him, inked the pink painted index finger of the left hand with blue(the combo is looking awesome)  and then she asked me to cast my vote. I went where the ballot machine was kept. For the second time in my life, I saw the EVM. There were two machines. I kept looking for the party I wanted to vote in the second one. When it was about 1 minute that I didn’t came out, the officer asked”

“What happened?”

And see my innocence, I asked ” Where is the option of ABC party?”

He asked “Are you gonna vote for it?”

Now i realised the blunder, and again see my innocence, “No, I was just asking… if they got a place in even EVM or not..”

“Yes they did… madam… see the second option on the  machine kept on your right hand side.. can you see them there?”

“Ya… i do… I was just asking… you know…”

And then I casted my vote… and then I came out and then everybody was smiling and then I also smiled and then a thing happened.

A seemingly 80 year old lady came to me and asked me if  I could wait. She said that she lives in a flat near mine and she would be indebted if I could wait and accompany her to her home after she casts her vote. I asked my father to which he readily gave permission. My father went home and I remained there waiting for the lady to exercise her right. She was done in 5 minutes or so and then we started walking towards her home.

“So… you voted for ABC?” She asked.

“I think everybody there would have known…”

“Ya… ABC is a good party, youth oriented..” She said again.

“Ya… they project themselves like that… why did you came alone?”

“Oh… my son and daughter- in law have gone to meet one of their friends.”

“Okay… they should have voted in the morning…”

“No.. they didn’t…” She said in a low voice.

“Hmm… it’s okay… almost 40 per cent of Delhi is not gonna vote..”

“But.. they should have voted… it’s their duty… ”
Now, I was in a fix… really… should i say something… if i would that might sound rude… If I don’t… silence might also sound rude… so if it’s gonna sound rude anyways… maybe I should talk, I thought.

“How do you know I live nearby you? I rarely knew that…” (yup… I changed the topic… perfect way to escape from being sounding rude}

“Oh… I just see you coming and going to college and roaming around sometimes…”

As we approached very close to her house, “Hmm… Well i would say one thing… you should not have come out alone… I mean you could have rested in the home.”

She looked at me, and then said, “You might be thinking that I am too old and feeble and why I need to vote? I mean I may not even survive to watch the results of this election…

“NO… i didn’t meant…”

She crossed my lines and continued, “But you see… my husband was a freedom fighter… he used to tell me that he is not fighting to hound Britishers, but to claim the right to say day a day… for this he sacrificed 30 years of his life… for this he ignored many lives… and when everybody has that right, to keep that right alive… this is the only step we can take… I feel like the master of this country with just one duty that i performed today… isn’t it a a very small effort to feel that way?”

I was just listening to her… wondering if she really said that on the spot or had rehearsed all this… whatever… I felt like a king maker and at the same time i felt the wave of change that everybody in the country is hoping to witness.v

 

 

 

 

 

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